This guy...

I have been thinking a lot about this guy...nothing new, right? This time I wanted to share. Share what I have been thinking all along, but just could never put into words because it runs so deep, so I hope this time I can :) 

My heart hurts not seeing this guy as a father. He is the most compassionate man I have ever seen. It doesn't matter where we are, he is looking to serve someone and I love that about him! I have several stories about this...from walking into Home Depot and him seeing a guy struggling to put a BBQ grill into his truck across the parking lot and I see Spencer run over there to help, to him seeing our neighbor's son scream bloody murder running by our house because he had a sliver and Spencer ran up to him and pulled it out, to many stories of him always stopping when someone has car problems. He is beyond amazing! But, it's more than that...I see him ache to be a father and that is hard, very hard to see. He is amazing to me as a husband. He takes such good care of me. He went out of town last week because he is now apart of the Young Men's in our ward and they went on their High Adventure trip and he made sure I was very well taken care of while he was gone. He is a genuine guy. I'll be honest, I don't see it often. I like to watch how guys treat their wives and I have seen very few treat them the way Spencer treats me. We are more than husband and wife, we are best friends! Our journey has definitely drawn us closer to one another. He is also so good to our dogs and loves them so much. He also loves our nieces and nephews and loves being apart of their lives. My sister will send me fun pics and videos of her kids and Spence got after her for not sending them to him, haha, he loves them and loves when we get to spend time with them! It's fun talking baby stuff to Spencer! He gets so excited! His eyes light up when he tells me he bought something or he has a good idea for a nursery. This guy is meant to be a dad :) He's meant to play sports with his children and attend their activities. He'll be front row or cheering on the sidelines! I am very proud to say he's my husband and more proud to say he will be the father of my children because this guy, once again, is beyond amazing!!

Happy Birthmother's Day!!

Happy Birthmother's day!! We hope you have an amazing day and hope you know what angels you are to so many adoptive families :)

Hope on. Journey on.

Spencer and I love General Conference. I will be honest, I think my love all started because my birthday falls around October General Conference and as I was growing up, my whole family (aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents) would spend that weekend of General Conference at our home. To me, it was family time gathered around the television feeling the spirit. Now that I'm married, I still feel the same way; however, I wasn't able to watch a session because I needed a nap before work. Today, Spencer and I went back and read what we missed and one caught our attention and I'll be honest, I cried!! "Lord, I Believe" By Jeffrey R. Holland is exactly what Spencer and I needed at exactly this time in our lives. The story of the man with the afflicted son really touched my heart and the part that says "We will be grateful for anything - partial blessing, a glimmer of hope...really touched close to home. I have prayed for something similar and this is where my testimony has strengthened, this is where my tender mercies happen. My prayers are answered and my hope is restored. The adoption process hasn't been the easiest and waiting for our little one to join our family is definitely hard. It's hard for me to talk about because I feel I can never put it in the exact words. I was speaking with my best friend yesterday who adopted a sweet little girl and we both got emotional because we both understand the pain. She said it perfectly when she said it's the unknown. It definitely is. I don't know what the future holds for Spencer and I and that is where our faith comes into play. That is where we need to believe. Besides Spencer, my mom hears me break down more than anyone and my mom is our ROCK! Just yesterday she texted me these: "I pray every day for you and I know a miracle will be in your arms soon. Love you so much!!!!!!!","Well I just know it will happen soon. I have FAITH!!!" Then today I told her about this talk and she replied with, "Oh Jess, Patti emailed that to me yesterday. I know I loved it and its so TRUE!!" My mom is constantly telling us to not doubt and to have faith...moms sure do know best. I am so grateful we had an opportunity to listen to this General Conference. I had such a strong feeling that there was a talk that we needed to hear and I'm glad we had that opportunity. Spencer and I are going to continue to hope on and journey on :)

Happy Anniversary!!

This week Spencer and I celebrated our 7th anniversary! We both took time off work. It was much needed time to just be together. We had a lot of fun. We have been through a lot these last 7 years and it is neat to see how much our love has grown. Heavenly Father definitely knew what we both needed :)

 

(7 years ago we both said "Yes" in the Salt Lake Temple. Here is a picture of flowers Spencer got me. He got me some spring flowers on Saturday and then added 2 dozen roses to it on our anniversary. The picture of us is after our date on our anniversary, fun times!!)

 

 

 

I thought I would update on what we have been up to lately...

Spencer is in school full time and working part time. He amazes me because he works so hard and loves it. He loves doing all this for our future. His work is going well...so well that they have big plans in store for him. It is something we are definitely praying about.

I am working 3 days a week as an RN. It is nice to have days off after my old job as Director of Nursing. Spencer and I are also Beachbody coaches and love being apart of their program. We definitely believe in it and it's not bad side money. We started one of their workout programs, Les Mills Pump, 6 weeks ago and we love it!! It has been so much fun :)! We have also been blessed to become debt free other than our home :).

Sometimes it is hard to blog because there are so many things I want to say, but just cannot put it into words. The adoption process has been hard. It is hard to be waiting...waiting for our family. My family was down a couple weeks ago and I had a sweet, tender mercy happen. In tears, I shared it with Spencer, but once I saw my mom, I knew I just had to tell her. She got in the truck with me and Spencer and I just broke down as I told her. She as well broke down. She knows more than anyone how hard this road has been on us. Sometimes we just need someone to listen and not judge. This is definitely a roller coaster ride. I know I've said it before, but man, it is so true. We have good days, really good days, and not so good days. We are grateful for faith, the power of prayer and fasting, and the adoption process. It may be hard, but it is making us stronger as a couple and will make us an even stronger family :).

I love you every step of the way!!

I love spending time with Spencer!! He is my world! I will say it over and over again because I truly feel this way! We have so much fun laughing and just enjoying each other!! I sure love him!

 

Touched our hearts :)

 

Valentine's Day

I love Valentine's Day because Spencer always makes it so special and this year was no exception! We had decided to purchase a new workout as our gift, but like always, Spencer still went above and beyond! He had a delivery sent to our door and then took me out to dinner that night! It was fun and I sure love him, oh so much! I wanted to list some of the things I love:
1: Spencer...I know, I know, but I had to say it! This guy makes me so happy! I love that he loves life. I love that he loves me. He is always doing such kind things for me and putting up with my new and crazy ideas (like the photo of us doing plank on plank...so fun!! We laughed and laughed so hard that night)
2: My dogs...they are such good dogs and make Spencer and I laugh all the time. They each have a funny personality; for example, Westin loves good smelling things...I mean LOVES them!! He loves when I do laundry. If I place the laundry where he can get to it, he'll jump right in. It makes him so content and he won't move. They also love kids, babies especially. We have slowly been collecting items and if it is a used item, the dogs will just sit and stare and sniff. They know what's going on :)
3: I love good news. Good news is good, right? Good news is hopeful. I love hearing certain things regarding our adoption. No, we have not gotten THAT news yet, but still good news is always good for me and Spencer. It strengthens our testimony each and every time and it's always a good reminder how important faith and prayer is :)
4: Our home. There is nothing better than owning your own home and knowing you did it all on your own as a couple. It is so nice to come home after a long 12+ hours of work and seeing my lil fam and spending time with them in our home. I also love keeping it nice :)
5: I love Spencer's drive! He is so motivated to go far in life. I love hearing his goals for himself and our future. I love that he loves school. I love that he does so well. Just a couple days ago, he had to present a speech and it is one he is excited to tell our kids as they grow up. He told me as I was about to leave for work and my heart just melted!! He did a fantastic job!! This man has such drive for life! It's contagious!!
6: Our jobs. We have been so fortunate to have great jobs. I love being a Registered Nurse. It is giving me such great experience, not only for life, but to be a mother. As I was taking care of a wound, a patient asked me if I was a mom, I answered kind of shocked and said not yet, why? The patient answered with-you are so motherly...I just think you would make a great mom. My heart literally melted right there and then.
7: Working out. I love to work out! I love the feeling afterward. I'll be honest, I have had some people think I do it because maybe I'm into myself (we even had people think that's why we didn't have kids yet before they actually knew our situation, sad huh). This couldn't be more false. I grew up watching my mom and sisters do it and they are my role models. For me, it lessens stress and definitely helps me cope. Good coping mechanism. Also, I love working out with my hubby!! We have had some fun times; not to mention, a lot of laughs!!
8: My family. I love them, oh so much!! Besides Spencer, there is no other people I call or message faster when I have good news or when I am on the verge of tears. They are my strength. I am so grateful for wonderful parents who taught me to work hard and to love even harder. They are huge examples to me!!
9: The gospel. My testimony is everything to me. My prayers have been answered like never before. I have so many tender mercies that I know Spencer and I are right where we need to be. I know everything happens in the Lord's timing. That is something that is sure hard to come to grips with, but I have and it is true. He wants what is best for us and He knows what that is. He knows what is in our hearts and He listens. I know this.

I have been wanting to write this post since Valentine's Day because my heart was so full with all the things I love and am so grateful for. We have been blessed.

Here is Spencer and I before our date. I love him so much and I love these pictures of us. He is amazing and I love his hugs!!

Here is my package he sent me. It included chocolate covered strawberries, yum!!!

A couple nights after Valentine's, we had a fun date night!! We came home and decided to work on plank on plank!! It was so much fun and if you can tell, Spencer is laughing in the picture...so much fun!!!

 

I cut my hair again into a different style so I thought I would post a pic of what it looks like currently. I am also having major spring fever. I cannot wait for warmer weather. I think I was getting my hopes up a bit too soon because snow is starting to come down. Oh well, March is coming shortly and it has always been one of my favorite months :)