Hoping to Adopt

Just take my hand...together we can do this!



It has been a hard couple of  years. Spencer and I always knew that we wanted a family. Children were quite often the topic of conversation. What would we name them? And yes, Spencer has always like the names I have suggested, score :). We spent countless hours babysitting nieces and nephews and loved every minute. We would always say we could not wait for the day when our little ones entered our home.

 It was one fall day when I was driving home from work when I received the dreaded phone call saying that having children of our own would not be an option for us. I remember the heartache that immediately came and the tears that streamed down my face. Where do we go from here?

Spencer and I turned to our Heavenly Father. We know it is His plan and we completely trust Him. We prayed, fasted, had a lot of faith and received support from family. We then felt enticed to begin the Adoption process. We began the adoption process in June 2011. The adoption process is not easy. There is a lot of paperwork and it can be emotionally draining, but we kept the faith and kept moving forward. We were approved for adoption on October 26, 2011. We felt a lot of weight lifted off our shoulders and felt complete comfort and peace.

With the comfort and peace, we know through adoption, we will have our eternal family.

2011 in pictures!

Fun pictures we had done this year!

                                   
Our cute niece, Elle, wanted to jump into the picture!!

 BYU/UTAH rivals in our very own home...gotta love it AND we do :) Spencer just HAD to get a pic like this :)

                                                     
 Picture with Sash, Kyndal, and Chade!

Spending precious moments with Paysley before she passed away.

Clint Black concert in our lil city!

Spencer working on my mom's house!

My mom and I working out...my mom is my inspiration!!

Down time with Sash...she's a cuddle bug!

Playing outside in our backyard!

 

Hiking with my mom and our dogs and her dogs in good ol' Idaho!

Working out together is so much fun!!

Running with our dogs! Preparing for our race!

We ran in Recovery Day with my hospital. My hospital had a booth there and we helped manage that afterwards. It was a blast!! My mom made the T-Shirts for our hospital and my Bro-inlaw brought us all sandwiches from his awesome store, Port of Subs!!

HALLOWEEN...We went over to my co worker's house and had a lot of fun. We played a lot of games~one being Michael Jackson Dance on the Wii...Spencer and I kicked butt! Okay, for Spencer's costume...we looked everywhere for Superman, but couldn't find it. He even bought a kid's superman hoping to fit, but nope! So, he just used the cape out of it instead! Awe, memories!!!

                  P90X2 has begun...so excited!!!

The guys in my family including some of my nephews and my cute niece getting the game plan down for hunting!!

  

Spencer and Sash out doing what they love...pheasant hunting!!

We worked out with Chalene Johnson (one of my fav instructors) in Park City the day after Christmas. We are on the right on the back row :) Anyone heard of Turbo Kick, Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire, Piyo, Hip Hop Hustle, or Chalean Extreme?! She's the creator!!

Here we are with Chalene and she signed my book Push (written by her...I got it for Christmas :)...Sorry it is blurry, I think my friend was a little excited taking the picture!

2011 in Review

I hate to say this, but MAN, I'm sure glad 2011 has come and gone. I keep telling myself, I just don't know how things can get any harder! Well, I've learned my lesson and I'm done saying that! Yes, each year since nursing school has been more challenging for us, but we manage to survive and even come out stronger...how does that happen? A lot of faith and prayer! My mom clearly told me during 2011 to quit being so strong and then trials wouldn't come our way...you know the saying...you are only given what you can handle?. Well, that was on my mind constantly in 2011, but He knows mine and Spencer's plan a lot better than we do. Here is our year in review (you don't want to miss this since I was MIA most of the year).

January: I became Director of Nursing for HRH, Spencer started college, and we became primary teachers (we love CTR 5)!

February: I got in a car wreck ( a car hit me from behind while at a stop light) and Paysley was our #1 concern...we had several vet appointments doing anything we could to prolong her little life.

March: Our sweet Paysley passed away. Kyndal Pays joined our family. Spencer and I celebrated our fifth anniversary!! Another car wreck ( a car hit me from behind while at a stop light).

April: Spencer's birthday and Chade's eye surgery.

May: We started Asylum (the level up from insanity-the workout program)! Yes, we are insane and belong in an asylum!! I get asked that all too often unless they really know me!! Spencer finished his first semester!

June: We began the Adoption process (there will be a post all about this coming soon), Spencer started school again, we planted our first flower bed, my cousin got married, we went to Clint Black concert in our very own city!!

July: Spent the 4th in Idaho with my mom, Spencer's family reunion, painted our fence because of HOA :)

August: Trip to Idaho for Spencer to build a fence and Spencer ended school and began again

September: Trip to Idaho for Spencer to do work for my mom, Utah State Fair, and we ran in Recovery Day with my hospital!!

October: My birthday, 10 years since Spencer and I became a couple (Awe), and approved for Adoption!!

November: Thanksgiving with my family in Idaho!

December: P90x2 arrived, Spencer finished fall semester, hunting with the family and Sash, Christmas, and working out with Chalene Johnson!!!

2011 was HARD! I am pretty sure I can say I experienced every emotion possible, but I am ready for 2012...I believe it is our year!!

Our house and yardwork.

Flowers are planted!

Our flowers are getting bigger...

Ready for Halloween and the flowers still look awesome!

Spencer and I had a lot of fun this summer doing yardwork! We especially had fun putting in our flower garden for the first time! Maybe next year we will move on to an actual garden, yes, I said it :)

Chade's eye

Right after surgery

All healed up!

A month after Paysley passed away, we found out that Chade had an ulcer in his right eye and if we did not take care of it quick, he would lose it. Of course, we got Chade into surgery! When Chade came out of surgery, my heart just broke~all I wanted to do was cuddle him! He had to wear a cone around his neck and deal with meds and drops in his eyes a few times a day. He handled it all like a champ and his eye looks great! Sooo glad we saved my 'lil buddy's eye!!!

Kyndal Pays

First time meeting Kyndal

Bringing her home

First vet check up

Playing outside

First haircut...then had some water to drink :)

Heading to Idaho with the fam

Second haircut and Kynie looks like big sis, Pays :)

Chillin at a BBQ



After Paysley passed away, Spencer and I were devastated. It's crazy to think life could go on cuz it honestly felt like it didn't. My mom thought we needed to find us a female shih tzu to help ease the unbearable pain. Spencer and I thought she was crazy. We had Chade and Sash who we love dearly, but there was something missing AND getting another dog would never replace our sweet Paysley. One day my mom said something that really stuck and so I decided to look online at shih tzu ads. I came to one where one of the parents looked exactly and I mean exactly like Paysley. I showed Spencer and sent the ad to my mom. They both agreed. After some prayer, I decided to call and go visit these puppies. They had a few litters and my intent was to look at the youngest litter who had quite awhile before they were able to go to their new homes because I just didn't feel ready yet. I said a little prayer when we pulled up to the house. We went in and I immediately saw the dog that looked like Paysley and this dog immediately ran up to me and began loving on me and I kept looking at Spencer like this must be a sign!! Then the lady hands me a puppy from her litter that was ready for their new homes and says "This is Paysley!" WHAT, come again! I looked at Spencer like, DOES SHE KNOW OUR STORY?! But, she did not. The rest is history...and we named that sweet lil puppy Kyndal Pays!!!

I know someone was watching over us and knew what we needed. Kyndal is a lot like Paysley. She loves on us the way Paysley did. We could not have gotten a dog that acted any closer to Paysley than our little Kynie does.

Kyndal loves to give kisses. If she warms up to you, she will lick you all day long...I'm not kidding! She loves her big sister, Sash! Sash loves her too! Sash will lay down and let Kyn attack her all day long. It is the cutest thing. Every night Sash and Kyndal sit by our laundry room door waiting for their treats! Chade waits patiently as he follows me around. He knows he will get one...he doesn't have to look obsessive like the girls, lol :)

Aww, I love my dogs and did I mention I sure miss my Pays!!!

Paysley Halford 7/30/2006-3/1/2011

Our sweet 'lil Paysley passed away March 1, 2011.

I have not blogged since February because I knew it would be way too hard to blog about my sweet Paysley, but sometimes ya just gotta face your fears, right?!

I think about the last time I blogged and Paysley was right next to me...what I would give to go back!

Paysley was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure the end of December 2010. Paysley had to be on a special diet and she was not a fan because if you knew Paysley, you knew she loved her treats! Some days were a lot harder to get Paysley to eat. We needed her to gain weight, but despite her eating and all our efforts to switching up diets, Paysley kept losing. There were days where I would literally break into tears because Paysley would put up such a fight to eat, but once she saw my tears, she would eat like crazy! She could always sense when I was sad...man, I miss her!!! The vet gave us an option of putting Paysley on an expensive medication that would increase her red blood cells and that would help prolong her life. Her red blood cells kept decreasing and the vet said that was contributing to her seizures. Spencer and I were all for it. We would do anything for our little girl! Paysley had been on the medication for a short time and we took her in on a Friday and we got good news that her red blood cells had not decreased, but had remained the same...we had HOPE! Then that Monday I came home from work and saw the hardest thing I have ever seen. I saw Paysley lying almost lifeless in her bed with her tongue partially hanging out of her mouth. I quickly picked her up and held her in my arms for the rest of the night. I remember feeling as though I was being tortured. I knew she didn't have long. Spencer and I had her sleep next to us and I did not sleep well because I did not want her to slip away while I was asleep. That was my worst fear...not being with her! Then Tuesday I had to go to work, but luckily Spencer was home with her. I kept receiving texts from Spencer saying that Paysley was very sick and had lost control of her bowels. All of a sudden I became extremely ill...extremely ill! I was helping my supervisor waste narcotics and I became weak, sweaty, and very pale. I went to the bathroom and when I looked in the mirror, I didn't even recognize myself. When I walked back to the nursing station, some said I was green. They were so worried about me that they were about ready to call the ambulance, but I just said that I really just needed to go home. Looking back, I think that is when it finally hit me...that I was losing my Paysley! I drove straight home and wrapped Paysley up in my arms. I held her and talked to her. We went down memory lane. I will never forget her brown eyes looking up at me like she was really listening. All day she had been throwing up about every 10 minutes, but for that hour she layed content in my arms. I had talked to my mom earlier that day and told her about our sweet Paysley and she drove straight from Idaho to be with us. My mom arrived at our house about an hour after I got home. She came in and held Paysley, but Paysley looked back at me like I just need my mommy...so sweet. We then all took her to the vet to see if there was anything we could do...anything! The vet let us know there was nothing else and Paysley was only going to keep suffering. It was the hardest, yet most peaceful time letting her go. Paysley closed her sweet, trusting, brown eyes and it was a neat experience having us all together. It is something I will always cherish!