Kyndal Pays

First time meeting Kyndal

Bringing her home

First vet check up

Playing outside

First haircut...then had some water to drink :)

Heading to Idaho with the fam

Second haircut and Kynie looks like big sis, Pays :)

Chillin at a BBQ



After Paysley passed away, Spencer and I were devastated. It's crazy to think life could go on cuz it honestly felt like it didn't. My mom thought we needed to find us a female shih tzu to help ease the unbearable pain. Spencer and I thought she was crazy. We had Chade and Sash who we love dearly, but there was something missing AND getting another dog would never replace our sweet Paysley. One day my mom said something that really stuck and so I decided to look online at shih tzu ads. I came to one where one of the parents looked exactly and I mean exactly like Paysley. I showed Spencer and sent the ad to my mom. They both agreed. After some prayer, I decided to call and go visit these puppies. They had a few litters and my intent was to look at the youngest litter who had quite awhile before they were able to go to their new homes because I just didn't feel ready yet. I said a little prayer when we pulled up to the house. We went in and I immediately saw the dog that looked like Paysley and this dog immediately ran up to me and began loving on me and I kept looking at Spencer like this must be a sign!! Then the lady hands me a puppy from her litter that was ready for their new homes and says "This is Paysley!" WHAT, come again! I looked at Spencer like, DOES SHE KNOW OUR STORY?! But, she did not. The rest is history...and we named that sweet lil puppy Kyndal Pays!!!

I know someone was watching over us and knew what we needed. Kyndal is a lot like Paysley. She loves on us the way Paysley did. We could not have gotten a dog that acted any closer to Paysley than our little Kynie does.

Kyndal loves to give kisses. If she warms up to you, she will lick you all day long...I'm not kidding! She loves her big sister, Sash! Sash loves her too! Sash will lay down and let Kyn attack her all day long. It is the cutest thing. Every night Sash and Kyndal sit by our laundry room door waiting for their treats! Chade waits patiently as he follows me around. He knows he will get one...he doesn't have to look obsessive like the girls, lol :)

Aww, I love my dogs and did I mention I sure miss my Pays!!!

Paysley Halford 7/30/2006-3/1/2011

Our sweet 'lil Paysley passed away March 1, 2011.

I have not blogged since February because I knew it would be way too hard to blog about my sweet Paysley, but sometimes ya just gotta face your fears, right?!

I think about the last time I blogged and Paysley was right next to me...what I would give to go back!

Paysley was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure the end of December 2010. Paysley had to be on a special diet and she was not a fan because if you knew Paysley, you knew she loved her treats! Some days were a lot harder to get Paysley to eat. We needed her to gain weight, but despite her eating and all our efforts to switching up diets, Paysley kept losing. There were days where I would literally break into tears because Paysley would put up such a fight to eat, but once she saw my tears, she would eat like crazy! She could always sense when I was sad...man, I miss her!!! The vet gave us an option of putting Paysley on an expensive medication that would increase her red blood cells and that would help prolong her life. Her red blood cells kept decreasing and the vet said that was contributing to her seizures. Spencer and I were all for it. We would do anything for our little girl! Paysley had been on the medication for a short time and we took her in on a Friday and we got good news that her red blood cells had not decreased, but had remained the same...we had HOPE! Then that Monday I came home from work and saw the hardest thing I have ever seen. I saw Paysley lying almost lifeless in her bed with her tongue partially hanging out of her mouth. I quickly picked her up and held her in my arms for the rest of the night. I remember feeling as though I was being tortured. I knew she didn't have long. Spencer and I had her sleep next to us and I did not sleep well because I did not want her to slip away while I was asleep. That was my worst fear...not being with her! Then Tuesday I had to go to work, but luckily Spencer was home with her. I kept receiving texts from Spencer saying that Paysley was very sick and had lost control of her bowels. All of a sudden I became extremely ill...extremely ill! I was helping my supervisor waste narcotics and I became weak, sweaty, and very pale. I went to the bathroom and when I looked in the mirror, I didn't even recognize myself. When I walked back to the nursing station, some said I was green. They were so worried about me that they were about ready to call the ambulance, but I just said that I really just needed to go home. Looking back, I think that is when it finally hit me...that I was losing my Paysley! I drove straight home and wrapped Paysley up in my arms. I held her and talked to her. We went down memory lane. I will never forget her brown eyes looking up at me like she was really listening. All day she had been throwing up about every 10 minutes, but for that hour she layed content in my arms. I had talked to my mom earlier that day and told her about our sweet Paysley and she drove straight from Idaho to be with us. My mom arrived at our house about an hour after I got home. She came in and held Paysley, but Paysley looked back at me like I just need my mommy...so sweet. We then all took her to the vet to see if there was anything we could do...anything! The vet let us know there was nothing else and Paysley was only going to keep suffering. It was the hardest, yet most peaceful time letting her go. Paysley closed her sweet, trusting, brown eyes and it was a neat experience having us all together. It is something I will always cherish!

The most amazing job!

That's right, I have the most amazing job, I love it! I was pretty nervous to go back and charge on day shift. It's quite a bit different than nights, haha go figure! I absolutely love it though and I have caught on quick. I've had staff tell me how impressed they are on how well I've done! Days are soooo busy, but I love it! I love feeling like I am running like a chicken with my head cut off! If I'm gone one second, I always hear~Jessica, please call the nurses station, Jessica please come to the nurses station, etc! You want to know the coolest thing though? I have the most amazing patients and amazing staff members! I love my staff! We ALWAYS have so much fun! It doesn't matter if we finally caught a minute to eat, or we are all running around like crazy doing different things, we still pass by each other and make each other laugh! I love when I am so busy at the nurses station and one of my staff come and sit right by me and make me laugh so hard I'm in tears!!! My shift ALWAYS goes by so fast. I'm always like, oh crap, it's already time to do report! It's crazy, but I absolutely love it! The Dr's are amazing as well! The medical director (the main Dr) always comes up to me and makes sure I am not overwhelmed. I try to tell him that's how I LOVE IT!  I also go into meetings every day at 11:30 am with all the Dr's and therapists. I love it! It is so much fun having all of us discuss ALL of our patients! I absolutely love learning from all of them! They are amazing! Every time I get off work, I tell Spencer I love my job and he always says he is so glad! I love the early morning drive to work and I love getting off and still having most of the day left. I love working! I love being a nurse! I am so so so happy!

Valentine's Day 2010

Spencer made this Valentine's Day (weekend) extra special. . He took me to a Bed and Breakfast! It was a lot of fun. He let me sleep a little bit Saturday morning after work and then we were off! He picked me up an edible arrangement, balloon, and teddy bear! It was awesome and I loved it! Then he took me to the Bed and Breakfast! We had a lot of fun eating and watching movies. It was very relaxing and just what I needed! Thanks hon! The Bed and Breakfast~well this was all ours~the guest house :)!

Spencer with my teddy bear!

Spencer playing a game!

The living room!

The upstairs...sorry it's sideways, not sure why, but can you see my balloon?!

My Edible Arrangement and teddy bear! Loved it!

 

Gotta love family!

Here is Paysley at 2 weeks pregnant! Poor girl has been tired and not feeling too well. She always throws up around her 2 week mark. Hopefully she's done with that now because she is almost 3 weeks! Can't wait for the puppies!

Here's crazy Sash! Always curious!!!

And yes, her ears get cold too! Spencer and her are definitely a match made in heaven!

AND did I mention how much Sash loves me? Whenever I'm around, it's me she wants to cuddle with! Taking a nap on our way to pick up Paysley. Can you see my Chade on my lap?

Okay, can you spot all 3?! I love all our dogs and they all love me! This is a daily occurence when I'm home. No, I did not know Spencer was taking a picture. This was one of my Saturdays off and I fell asleep with my hand over my eyes because I'm not use to daylight and it was killing my eyes!

Spencer and I have had some fun times with my family lately! The Sunday after Christmas, my cute little nephew, Lucas, was blessed. My brother did such an amazing job! It was great to see them and to finally meet lil Lucas!

Here is all my siblings and I with my nieces and nephews minus my nephew Chance! Sure wish he was in this one because I love it!!!

This past Saturday, Elle got baptized. It was such a special day and I am so proud of her for making this great decision! I cannot believe she is 8! They are all growing up so fast...slow down~Aunt Jessie doesn't like it :)!Here is my beautiful mother with her parents and one of her sisters and her brother! It was great to see them all at the baptism! Love them all!!!

Here is my cute lil nephew Andrew! He is at such a fun age and Spencer and I just adore him. He only goes to a select few and I am proud to say we are in that category! He is such a daddy's boy, so Jen was worried he was going to throw a fit when Michael entered the water with Elle, but he was a calm boy sitting with us! AND did I mention it was him who farted during the prayer...it was so funny and he thought so too! Love him!!!

Two cute girls awaiting a special day to start!

After the baptism, Spencer and I spent the day with my family. My mom, Jen, Elle, Abby, Spencer, and I drove everywhere to try and find those darn zhu zhu pets! Abby's old one is broke (or lazy~talks, but don't move) so she wanted a new one and Elle wanted one that is hard to find and well I knew my dogs would have a hayday watching it move around the kitchen, so we had to find them! We did and all of us our happy! Those darn zhu zhu pets, haha! Then it was off to my nephew Gage's basketball game! He did such a great job! Every time he made a basket, he turned to us, with his finger in the air, soooo cute! Way to go Gage!

And of course the premadonna's at the game. I swear these girls are going to break some hearts!

Merry Christmas

The cute Christmas card Patti came up for us!

My house with the lights on and can you see the snowman and reindeer? Spencer made that with my niece Emma and nephews Gage and Chance!

My front porch

our beautiful Christmas tree! We had one we used in our duplex and apartment, but it was small and one night I woke up before work and saw that Spencer had bought this beautiful tree! I was soooo happy!

My kitchen table~can't really see the decor, but I love it! We made the little glass blocks with snow and then a snowman candle on top...love it!

Yes, Jonas brothers is on in the background. Come on, you know you watch it too? Okay, my niece and nephews were watching it...really!

See I told you they were watching it, haha!

The love of Spencer's life! Okay, so she loves me too! I was at work and she missed me, so went into the closet and layed on my sweater! woot, woot!

 

 I got to watch Patti's kids last weekend and it was a lot of fun! We played the wii, made a snowman and reindeer in all that snow we received, had McDonalds, watched Up, and oh yeah, played the Wii!

Here are some pics I am throwing in of my house! I love it! I love decorating, so here are some of my Christmas Decor! Oh yeah, and a pic of Sash!

What I am THANKFUL for...

I love this time of year and I have been reflecting back on all the things I am so thankful for. My heart has been so full lately. I know Spencer and I are right where we need to be. It's always scary to think about the future, but it is so comforting knowing I will always have Spencer by my side! So, here is a list of what I am thankful for. My dad always asks at the Thanksgiving table so here goes:
~My husband! I am always told what a great man I have and I couldn't agree more!
~My marriage! I love everything about my marriage. Everything we have gone through has strengthened us. I KNOW I married my soulmate!
~The Gospel! I have always had a strong testimony, but since I started working, I worked Sat. nights and it was so challenging to make it to church. My schedule has now changed and I love sitting through church! I love listening to the lessons and feeling the spirit! You definitely don't know what you miss until it's gone! I am also thankful for the power of prayer, fasting, and priesthood! I have turned to all three in every challenge of my life and I ALWAYS come out a stronger person!
~My parents! My parents taught me about hard work and to NEVER give up. I wouldn't be an RN without their continous encouragement! It is so amazing to have parents believe that you can do ANYTHING! I love having a mom that I can call 24-7! I love that in my saddest times, she's the one I break down to and she's right there crying with me! I love having a Dad that is always asking how I can MAKE it better? If I have a problem, it's like Well Jess, what you gonna do about it? Talk about teaching your little girl to be tough and KNOW she can do anything! He told me a quote "Work like it depends on you and Pray like it depends on the Lord." What excellent advice!
~My sisters and my bro! We have always been so close. They can make me laugh hard and cry harder! They have always been my rock. They know when I'm upset and can always get the tears out of me! What a great feeling to be blessed with such great siblings who have been with me through it ALL!
~My Job! All I can say is WOW! I absolutely love my job! These last couple weeks I have not felt the greatest and everyone was always after me to take off work. I never could because I just didn't want to. Last night on my way to work, my heart was so full with the love I have for my job! The Lord knew exactly where I was needed and what I needed! It definitely has been a blessing and I think about it EVERY TIME I clock out and head home. Nursing is so rewarding and I love being apart of my patients' lives! I had the cutest patient who came up to me a week ago and said he wanted to read me a quote. It said "If you know WHY to live, you can bear all of HOW to live." Wow, how did he know I needed that?! Amazing!
~My home! I love having my own home with Spencer! I love that our home represents us! I love walking into our door every morning when I get off work! I am so thankful the Lord has blessed us with our home.
~My Grandpa! He is the most spiritual man I have ever known! My grandpa always has my best interest at heart and is ALWAYS there for me to talk to! He has been praying, fasting, and going to the temple for me since he found out about my aneurysm and has revealed amazing things to me. What a man of God!
~My nieces and nephews! I told Spencer I could take anyone of them and make them my own! I love them all that much! They have been over a lot and they make me want kids soooo bad! I love playing with them. I even told both my sisters that I want to have their kids for a weekend. Yes, I love them that much!
~My dogs! I have the two best house dogs in the whole world! They are so well behaved and I love it! They are so willing to sleep with me all day and be good even after they had just woke up from a nights sleep! I love that they have taught me and Spencer (mainly Spencer :) patience! I also just bought Spencer a hunting dog! I love that I can do that for him! I love that getting a Brittany Spaniel for him brings back a flood of fond memories of hunting with my dad and bro! I so look forward to watching Spencer hunt with our little boys! What a great hobby to look forward to!
~Good health! Yes, I have come to bumps in the road, but I am thankful for the knowledge of healthy living and that I have applied it to my life.
~my family and friends! Spencer and I have a great support system and we know we couldn't be more blessed!
~ Trials! I am who I am and where I am all because of TRIALS! What don't kill ya, definitely makes ya stronger!
~AND FAITH! Definitely a comforting feeling...ALWAYS!
~My blog friends! I mean who else would sit here and read what JESS is Thankful for?!
So here is my list in a shortened version, yes, shortened! Don't worry fam, I will keep it very short at the dinner table on Thursday:)!!!